Withdrawal
Policy.

1. The standing offer.

You may withdraw your enlistment at any time, for any reason, including no reason at all. The Department considers reasonless withdrawal to be the most honest kind, and respects it accordingly.

2. The one-click route.

Every Monthly Compliance Bulletin contains a single unsubscribe link, plainly labelled, in the footer of the message. Clicking that link removes you from the Department's active audience instantly. No follow-up email is sent. No retention specialist phones you. Your data is deactivated within the mailing platform on the same day.

What happens internally.

• Your contact record is marked unsubscribed: true in the Department's mailing platform.
• Future Bulletins will not be addressed to you.
• Your Citizen ID is retired and not reissued.

3. The hand-written route.

If, for any reason, the unsubscribe link is unreachable to you, write to postmaster@departmentofsurrender.com from the email address you used to enlist. State that you wish to be removed. The Postmaster will action the request within three (3) working notions and confirm by reply.

4. Full deletion.

Unsubscribing deactivates your record but does not delete it; the email address remains on file in deactivated form so that the Department does not accidentally re-enrol you. If you would prefer your data deleted in full, request full deletion by name in your message to the Postmaster, and the Department will permanently remove your record within thirty (30) days, retaining only the minimum information required by law to demonstrate that the deletion happened.

5. Re-enlistment.

You are welcome to re-enlist at any future date. The Department keeps no record of prior withdrawals and will treat your return as a first encounter. Whether the Department secretly remembers you anyway is a question better directed at the Bird.

6. The Bird's note.

The Bird respects your decision. The Bird is, on balance, proud.